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Description of The Clowning of Wonder Womyn II:

We return to the scene of the crime, with Wonder Womyn dressed up as “Wonder Clown” and in complete disarray.  The Evil Clowns quickly jump on her and play “stretch and bend the Wonder Clown”. They try to pull apart our princess with a variety of agonizing stretches.  The Clowns treat her like a wishbone and try to snap her in half.  When that doesn’t work, they resort to bending her, but alas Wonder Womyn will only bend so much.  The Clowns can’t help themselves though and give her the special “Heave Ho” hold; one Clown puts her in a camel clutch hold, while the other clown puts her in a Boston Crab and she’s almost snapped in half.  One of the clowns notices that Wonder Womyn still has her outfit draped around her neck.  For whatever reason, the Clown think it’s wrapping paper from when they wrapped her up like a present.  The Clown pounces on Wonder Womyn, puts her in yet another camel clutch and begins to suffocate her with her own outfit.   Totally helpless, totally humiliated, her face covered by her own outfit over and over, Wonder Womyn finally goes unconscious.

Wonder Womyn awakens and weakly crawls to the corner, but the Clowns have just begun the torture.  They quickly snap her up and ask her if she wants a break…..a “smoke” break.  Before she can respond, they put her in another excruciating hold and hold her up while they glue a big cigar to her mouth.  An exploding cigar.  Wonder Womyn vainly struggles to spit the cigar out of her mouth, but cannot.   Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse for our heroine, the clowns take it up a notch and call in the fire department.  One of the clowns runs to get a hose to put out Wonder Womyn.  The clown rips the cigar out of Wonder Womyn’s mouth and inserts the hose in it’s place.  Wonder Womyn is quickly filled with water and appears to drown.  Unluckily for her, the clowns don’t know CPR and proceed to attempt to get the water out of her.  Bear hugs, over the knee backbreakers, stomach punches, anything to help get the water out of Wonder Womyn.   Wonder Womyn begs the clowns for mercy and asks to play a nice clown game.  Big mistake on her part

The clowns now make Wonder Womyn part of their favorite game, “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”.  They put her into another compromising hold, gag her and hold her up against the ring post.  They then get out what appear to be candy tassels.  One clown holds her up in the air, while the other clown puts on a blindfold and stumbles around the ring, tassels in hand, looking to pin them on a lifeless Wonder Womyn.  After much wandering around, the tassels get applied to Wonder Womyn’s bikini top.  Alas, the Clown is told that he has cheated at the game so they need to start the entire game all over.   When Wonder Womyn finally awakens from her slumber, she tries to remove the tassels from her bikini with her clown hands.   Another big mistake, as her hands have electric hand buzzers on them and she zaps herself insensible.  

Wonder Womyn groggily awakens and tries to regain herself, but the Clowns jump on her, now convinced that she’s a donkey.  They ride her around the ring, giving her smacks and kicks when she resists.  When Wonder Womyn insists that she’s now a clown and not a donkey, the Clowns ignore her and insist feeding her by making her bob for apples.  When she won’t eat the apples, they pick her up, apply a vicious abdominal stretch and try to make her eat candy apples.  They rip the candy tassels off her and take turns at shoving the tassels into Wonder Womyn’s mouth.  Every time Wonder Womyn resists, they punch her in the stomach.  At this point, Wonder Womyn pleas and begs the Clowns, she will do anything for them.  The clowns threaten to shoot Wonder Donkey (donkey, clown, heroine??) and put her out of her misery.  It’s another joke and Wonder Womyn gets knocked out.

Wonder Womyn gets up, now completely powerless and just a play thing for the Evil Clowns.  What will they do with her next, will she become a permanent part of their circus or does Wonder Womyn have one last trick up her sleeve?